It is okay👌🏿 … to not be okay

“It was good that I had to suffer (endure rejection) in order to learn your laws.” Psalm 119:71, GWT

Last week, I shared with you all how feelings of rejection left my emotions unkempt.

For several days and maybe even weeks I walked around my home feeling like a zombie. I was able to function doing what was required of me in serving my family, but the joy in doing it was missing. After sharing my heart with you all and those in my community, healing began. I remember hearing Kirk Franklin say something to this effect; “I heal as a I reveal.”

Thank you to all who stopped by and left echoes of encouragement, offered prayers for comfort and deliverance, sent me reminders and nudges of affirmations, provided me with virtual hugs and kisses, sat in the valley with me sharing your struggles, sat in the valley with me in silence, ministered to my soul with words of wisdom, shouted from the mountain with voices of protection. I am truly, truly appreciative.

As I look back over this period, I cannot deny that what I experienced really hurt. The shock waves rippled right down to my core. Unexpected rejection has a way to sometimes knock the stuffings out; snatch the winds from beneath the sail; and at times, leave you feeling crippled and unable to ambulate. Whew!

Thankfully though, through this season the Lord has provided friends here and there along with my family for me to be vulnerable before. He’s provided reasoning, admonitions, counsel, warnings and especially comfort through the differing channels He’s opted to use. All this has strengthened my resolve to deepen all my relationships, especially the one with Him. It’s also led me to really express the following points.

Are you ready?

Are you listening?

Here goes.

We need to be honest and transparent with those we daily interact with and especially those we consider to be in our inner circle. In some cultures, when there is a death in the family, folks enter a “public” period of mourning. By that I mean, everyone around knows this individual is mourning. Their dressing reflects this life event. Their way of is drastically altered. Even the duration of the period of mourning is determined in advance. This allows others to pour the needed oil and wine into wounds. It allows for folks to be extra gentle, extra sympathetic and extra careful with how this griever is being treated.

Today though, we don’t walk around in full black attire. We are so scared of being honest and vulnerable we end up hiding our pain. We end up wearing masks. We end up as hypocrites (the word hypocrite is rooted in the Greek word hypokrites, which means “stage actor, pretender, dissembler“) in front of people pretending/acting like all is well.

Let’s stop this lying. If it’s not well, it’s simply not well.

Someone needs to know it’s okay to not be okay. You don’t have to have it all together. You don’t have to be in control. You don’t have to have it all together.

News flash, you don’t have to know everything.

It’s okay to feel broken. It’s okay to have times of doubt and question certain things you’ve held onto. Questioning doesn’t mean unbelief – questioning allows us to gain understanding and get a better footing.

Life will be shaken. Things we hold onto and truly care about can be snatched away and leave us feeling broken and alone.

Loneliness is also a real thing; we all go through it from time to time.

We all have valleys of the shadows of death that we have to walk through.

You. Are. Never. Ever. Alone.

The Lord is present, even in the midst of the worst ordeals. Scripture is replete with promises of where He is.

Through the valley of the shadow of death, through even death itself, through sickness, through famine, through doubts, through fear, through rejection, through neglect, through social isolation, through it all – He is there.

He is an ever present help in the time of trouble. Have you wondered what that’s like. The word ‘ever’ means at any time, always, forever, on and on and on and on and on….through eternity.

And, do you know what else? The Lord has a way of sending people in our lives when we need them the most. So in addition to an ever present Father’s presence, He also presents Himself through others. Got that. Our Father presents Himself (think of a gift you receive) through others. Hallelujah!

So, it’s okay to not be okay. I think not being okay and admitting this allows us to seek the One who can make it all better with even more intensity. Admission also humbles us and stills our posture before Him. It puts in a state of dependency (think of a baby bird with its mouth open for that worm). It also allows us to receive comfort and love from those around who may have otherwise kept on their merry way thinking there was no need for them to give us some extra love and attention.

Alright, I’m all talked out now 🙂

Until next time, remain steadfast in His promises. Keep prayed up.

I love you. ❤️