Gifts? No thank you

Today, on my way to pick up an order from Target, I decided to swing by Starbucks and pick up a treat for Zach and myself.

As I drove home with both Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino (one with whole milk and the other with almond milk), I was filled with excitement. Giving gifts makes me happy! When I see the smile on the recipient’s face, I find myself in a place of glee.

When I got home, I placed both drinks on the kitchen table and beckoned to Zach to claim his cup of sugary happiness. He looked at the cup, then at me and shook his head left to right and and said, “No thanks mom, too much sugar.” With that, he walked out of the kitchen and headed to his bedroom.

I felt as though the world stopped – literally.

What teenager refuses a cup of sweet delight??

Mine did.

As I processed his rejection of this brew of happiness, my emotions and thoughts went through what felt like a whirlwind.

How dare he not even take a sip before coming to this conclusion?

How rude of him to reject me, and my wonderful gift to him?

The next time he opts to experiment in preparing a meal and offers me some, I will remember this day and immediately respond with a refusal.

The thought cycle continued…

…Until I felt Holy Spirit nudging me to sit and journal the sorrow my heart felt.

As I journaled to Abba my frustrations, He does what He usually does – He turns the spot light on me.

How many times have folks offered me gifts and I have flat out refused them? Whether it be a physical gift, the gift of their time? Their advice? Their resources? Their money? Their sympathy. Their counsel? Their support in an area? Their concerns?

I have sadly had times when I have walked in pride and stubbornness and have said, “no thank you, I am alright. I can make it just fine.” When I have resisted their kindness because I felt unworthy of their offerings.

Forgive me Lord. 🙏🏽

As I sat with this heart posture, it was clear the Lord was not done with me. This time, He shone the light heavenward.

How many times has the Lord offered to me His gifts and I have given Him the cold shoulder? How many times have I walked around feeling independent and self-sufficient? How many times have I refused His multiplicity of gifts to me? His peace? His joy? His willingness to carry my burdens? His strength? His provision? His rest? His comfort? His promise of never leaving me alone? His gift of eternal life?

Sigh.

This mama had to repent. And she also had to share with her cub in humility how she felt too.

“So, as the Holy Spirit says: “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the wilderness, where your ancestors tested and tried me, though for forty years they saw what I did. That is why I was angry with that generation; I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways.’ So I declared on oath in my anger, ‘They shall never enter my rest.’ ” See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” Hebrews‬ ‭3:7-13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

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PS: My dad came home in the night and I offered the drink to him. As he drank this cup of delight, his eyes lit up as his taste buds did the salsa. His response to me after a few gulps, “this is soooo good.” 😉

#thoughtfulthursday

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