Gifts? No thank you

Today, on my way to pick up an order from Target, I decided to swing by Starbucks and pick up a treat for Zach and myself.

As I drove home with both Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino (one with whole milk and the other with almond milk), I was filled with excitement. Giving gifts makes me happy! When I see the smile on the recipient’s face, I find myself in a place of glee.

When I got home, I placed both drinks on the kitchen table and beckoned to Zach to claim his cup of sugary happiness. He looked at the cup, then at me and shook his head left to right and and said, “No thanks mom, too much sugar.” With that, he walked out of the kitchen and headed to his bedroom.

I felt as though the world stopped – literally.

What teenager refuses a cup of sweet delight??

Mine did.

As I processed his rejection of this brew of happiness, my emotions and thoughts went through what felt like a whirlwind.

How dare he not even take a sip before coming to this conclusion?

How rude of him to reject me, and my wonderful gift to him?

The next time he opts to experiment in preparing a meal and offers me some, I will remember this day and immediately respond with a refusal.

The thought cycle continued…

…Until I felt Holy Spirit nudging me to sit and journal the sorrow my heart felt.

As I journaled to Abba my frustrations, He does what He usually does – He turns the spot light on me.

How many times have folks offered me gifts and I have flat out refused them? Whether it be a physical gift, the gift of their time? Their advice? Their resources? Their money? Their sympathy. Their counsel? Their support in an area? Their concerns?

I have sadly had times when I have walked in pride and stubbornness and have said, “no thank you, I am alright. I can make it just fine.” When I have resisted their kindness because I felt unworthy of their offerings.

Forgive me Lord. 🙏🏽

As I sat with this heart posture, it was clear the Lord was not done with me. This time, He shone the light heavenward.

How many times has the Lord offered to me His gifts and I have given Him the cold shoulder? How many times have I walked around feeling independent and self-sufficient? How many times have I refused His multiplicity of gifts to me? His peace? His joy? His willingness to carry my burdens? His strength? His provision? His rest? His comfort? His promise of never leaving me alone? His gift of eternal life?


This mama had to repent. And she also had to share with her cub in humility how she felt too.

“So, as the Holy Spirit says: “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the wilderness, where your ancestors tested and tried me, though for forty years they saw what I did. That is why I was angry with that generation; I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways.’ So I declared on oath in my anger, ‘They shall never enter my rest.’ ” See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” Hebrews‬ ‭3:7-13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

PS: My dad came home in the night and I offered the drink to him. As he drank this cup of delight, his eyes lit up as his taste buds did the salsa. His response to me after a few gulps, “this is soooo good.” 😉



61 thoughts on “Gifts? No thank you

  1. How many times have I walked around feeling independent and self-sufficient? “ “ How many times have I refused His multiplicity of gifts to me? His peace? His joy? His willingness to carry my burdens? His strength? His provision? His rest? “ – that really struck a chord with me. A very thought provoking post Dee.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Maybe you saw this too Deandra, I do not know, but I am extremely impressed with Zach. What courage and character to resist the urge to please mom for the sake of caring for his own body. I know, I know, you him better than I do and I could be seeing things that aren’t there but it sure impressed me. I think it may be different for girls than guys but our family has worked hard to eat well when we can and keep sugar down to a minimum. Our daughters took to this like ducks to water but Wanda and I are definitely old school and like sweets (too much at times, right? 🙂 ) so when I saw what Zach did I let out a ‘Woop’ in my spirit. Man, you are doing a great job raising him! I don’t know too many young guys that would turn down sweets so he deserves the kudos, just sayin’. Too much sugar leads to too many health related issues so any time a person can reduce their intake is a accomplishment in itself. To risk insulting the giver in the process only shows that character is forming.

    That said I want to say that your own processing of this also showed tremendous character so you both deserve kudos. Well done.

    Papa’s gifts are sweet too but they are not bad even though, when we first taste them, they can be bitter to our tongue. God gave you a great gift of humility through this and you indulged like you did with that Fruppp…frlipp…fapac… coffee. Good on you! May the Father continue to give you such great and lovely gifts!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Giggles!
      I look forward to sitting with the Les family one of these fine days. 🙂

      Yes, you’re absolutely right, Homer. It took courage to say no and to stick to that. Abba be praised truly for character development. He alone can take credit for He alone is the One who transforms heart, mind and soul.

      Kudos to you all for eating healthy and showing the girls the benefit in doing so too – care to adopt a nearly 32 year old lol.

      You are so right about our Papa’s gifts! Sometimes they can be bitter on our tongue but oh how sweet they become to our bones. Hallelujah and Amen!! 🙌🏽

      May our Daddy continue to bless us abundantly eternally 🙏🏽❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Won’t that be an awesome gathering, eh sis? 🙂 Very much looking forward to it. Would love to adopt you but we are already brother and sister. 🙂 However our eldest is turning 30 in February so it makes me feel so old! Can’t keep up with you young whipper snappers these days. Why back in my day they only had one word for coffee and it was made from stale beans. 😉 You young’uns have it too good nowadays. 😉

        May God continue to bless you dear sister. You are such a great joy and blessing!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh I’ve had a good chuckle with this post today. Thank You Lord for the gift of laughter.

          Yes, it will be a marvelous time! Lord, tis my prayer today 🙏🏽

          I agree, coffee is coffee – before I headed there I had to research the type of coffee to get its name and while writing this I had to check the name of it again 🤭

          Awww, His joy in us causes others to receive delight. Hallelujah!

          His Shalom and Provision be unto you and sweet Wanda (and the other whipper snappers too) ❤️🤗

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Patty, thank you 😊
      You’re so welcome my sister. I’m so thankful the Lord continues to give us opportunities to reflect.
      May He continue to envelope you in His grace and favor. May He continue to lift up His countenance and be gracious to you. Above all, may He fill you with His Shalom 🙏🏽

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Very convicting. Once when I hesitated to share details with a good friend about some deep emotional pain, she reminded me
    that if I share the pain now she could also share the joy when God answers prayer. It later proved to be true — because I accepted her invitation to be vulnerable she was later able to share the tears of joy in answered prayer.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for such a wonderful example of why we need community and vulnerability. I recall this quote, “grief shared is halved; joy shared is doubled.” I am thankful for the love (and wisdom) your friend showed.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Great reminder little sister that we must accept God’s care and the loving gifts He brings our way. I’m pretty independent so learning to accept help doesn’t always come naturally. I’m impressed Zach doesn’t do much sugar. Shalenah is like that too. I always thought it was strange that she never wanted much candy or dessert when she was little. She’s still the same way.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Wow! Our babies are definitely twinsies in so many aspects, and so are we – where being independent is concerned. The Lord has definitely been using these experiences to really break my wills and my ingrained postures. He continues to ask me “why, Deandra Elaine? Why do you do what you do?”

      As for accepting His gifts…Lord, teach us how to be gracious, as You are 🙏🏽

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh, I’ve been there – many times! It seems whenever I feel like complaining about the way someone has treated me, I don’t have to think long before realizing a time I have treated the Lord the same way.
    PS I’m glad your dad enjoyed the coffee. I guess it was for him all along. 😉

    Liked by 4 people

  6. This post just gave me tears, Dee! The Lord is so good to show us amazing things through His teaching moments. Why they come in hurtful moments, us moms may never know. But He is faithful still. I’m so glad Hr is still working on me! Loved this post! So filled with wisdom. 🙂💜

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Oh Renee, you’ve hit the nail on the head – why do they come with in hurtful moments – sigh. I had another bout with the offspring today – on another rejected gift – it hurt – even more. But you know the lesson, the Lord is asking me why do I need the child’s approval? He’s reminding me that ultimately I should seek to live for an audience of One. I’ve had this lesson over and over (I guess I’m not passing) – sorry to rant.

      So, I’m joining you in that classroom, Renee. The one where He’s still working on me too ❤️🤗

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Those teen years are tough times! I’m surprised I actually made it through! It hurt my heart every single time I got those kind of rejections. It makes you think of all those times they were little when they depended on you for feedings, diaper changes, baths, kissing boo-boos….And then one day you wake up and they don’t “seem” (the truth is they always will need you) to need you as much…It just plain hurts a Moma’s heart! They are trying so hard to find their wings. 😢 I will be praying for you and Zach. He’s a really good kid.
        And always know we have to rant at times. Its ok….It’s not good keeping things in. It’s nice to know we have a wonderful support team on WP!🙌🏼🤗💜

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Thank you, Renee. This mama’s heart (and her boy’s) need all the prayers they can get.

          You’re right. Zach turns 18 this year and as I look back the past years feel like a blur – when did he grow up? Where did the time go? The sting of rejection is real…but I’m thankful that the Lord is in charge – and – for the lessons He gives through Zach (and your babies) for us. He reminds us that as His children, many times we are no better. Ouch.

          I’m thankful for you, Renee. Truly and super duper thankful 🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️❤️

          Liked by 1 person

          1. So true! We are all children at heart. I’m sure God gets so frustrated with me at times. The times I am too busy to pray or fail Him. But He loves this brat (me) anyway! I can’t comprehend it sometimes! 🙂 I’m so thankful for you, as well, and your prayers! 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

            1. He loves this brat(me too). There’s a song I’m reminded of by Mercy Chinwo and JJ Hairston “Excess Love”. That’s what His love is like to us ❤️


  7. Walking in the Spirit means filtering everything through the Word of God! Hurt, disappointment……..Always asking, “Father, what are you saying to me?” He is always speaking to us! Keeping walking close to the Father!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh Ms. Deb, I love how you put it – having EVERYTHING filtered through His Word. Lord, I pray that You would forever show me how to filter ALL things through the lens of Your scripture and continue to bless Ms. Deb with inspirations and wisdom always. 🙏🏽

      Liked by 1 person

  8. The Holy Spirit is such a blessing to us sis. I am glad that He helped you to process these thoughts and you even gained more from it. A graceful part of God working it all out for our good. 🤗

    And just maybe the coffee was intended for your dad in the first place. 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Dear Precious one,
    I needed to hear this message. I had just gone through something, somewhat similar and my question is, how long should these frustrations or anger or annoyances last? That one would have surely ruin my day. Pleased to see how Zach conducted himself. And pleased to also see how your reactions were. Thanks for sharing. Well written.


    1. Hi Shauna- Kay,

      I’m sorry you have had to endure frustrations or anger or annoyances. This is never an easy emotion to get over or even through. My prayer for you today is that the Lord would be your guide and your strength; that He would be your Counsel especially in these challenging times.

      Thank you for interacting with me today and sharing a piece of your heart too.


  10. My mouth is watering for some Frappucino drinks. We do not have Starbucks here so this is one of the things I miss about traveling.
    The good news is that it is always great when the young people are watching their sugar intake. 🙂 Wonderful lesson learned about accepting God’s free gifts to us. Blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If you ever come to my neck of the woods, it will be my treat to you, Beverly.
      Indeed – his refusal holds so many lessons for me – one of which, is holding firm to my conviction. May we continue to be stalwart soldiers in Yahweh’s army, sis. Blessings to you as well 🙏🏽

      Liked by 1 person

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