God of our weakness

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭4:8-11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Last night as I spoke with my “adopted” mom, she shared with me how 2019 was a rough year for me. She reminded me of the various things I have been through that have been heart-wrenching for her to witness. The roof of my home suddenly caving in. The sudden hospitalization and immediate surgery my biological mom needed. The cancer my grandmother who lives with me is still fighting. The shortage of financial resources each month and the proverbial hole which has been dug. The numerous disappointments with the immigration court system. The lethargic nature of the attorneys my family has had to deal with. The many other midnights that left me fumbling around trying to find my way to the Light.

As she shared with me how rough my year was, my heart was moved with sincere gratitude to Abba. When she looked comprehensively at all I went through, it made me pause in that conversation and see that truly, it was a rough year. You see, living through each trial and obstacle was hard. There were days I just went through unable to articulate how I felt. I could simply sigh and smile. There were days I was forced to compartmentalize the old issue so that I could focus on the new issue and not have a nervous breakdown. Have you ever been there, friend?

What she said to me after she listed the hard stuff nearly caused me to cry though. She said, “Dee, I’m so proud of you. You never once gave up on God.”


Without any hesitation Holy Spirit took over my lips and responded to her the paraphrased words of Simon Peter after Jesus told the people that they would need to eat His body, the bread of life.

To whom would I go? (John 6:68)

By nature, I am not competitive. If there was an option for me to lose a game, do not think I would be signing up. Growing up, I remember avoiding any games that I could not master. I stayed in my lane and only did challenges that I was guaranteed to win.

As I began devoting my life to Christ, my mindset did not change much. I would enter different situations scoping out where I would come out looking good, and participate in those. Abba however, had other plans.

You see, I’ve acted self-sufficient nearly all my life. I would ensure that I was needed more I would need others. I walked around with an air of independence, that sure I was a professed Christian, but I made sure I was able to at least control my life and the outcome to many degrees. What a laugh, I know!

I’ve shared in a previous post this all changed when I prayed a dangerous prayer. “Lord, I surrender my will. Do what you desire. Have your way.”

Boy…did He answer that prayer over the next two to three years. It was as if He was waiting and as soon as the words left my heart, BAM, it went down 🤣

I want to make this next part very clear to all of us. It is not me who chose to follow Christ of my own volition. It was His beckoning to me. It was He who constantly revealed Himself. It was He who patiently pursued me. It was His deposit of Holy Spirit that has and continues to draw me to Himself. Deandra is a nobody, a filthy wretch without Jesus. She can be proud, arrogant and conceited. But when Jesus stepped in, He began tearing those layers down. He began breaking those self righteous barriers down. He robed her in His righteousness. He gave her His gentleness. He gave her His humility. He gave her – Himself.

When Jesus came on the scene, He made Deandra weak!! He took away from her things that she loved and held dear. The friendship she held dearest with her very best friend of nearly a decade abruptly ended. Her mother ended up being taken away from her life indefinitely. The financial stability she relied on crumbled. Sickness of various kinds entered her home. Physical structures in her home literally fell apart. Challenges upon challenges upon challenges arose. But oh how good God has been through it all.

As I sit here reflecting, I am thankful. I am thankful to be acquainted with all those who can say that they have been bruised, made weak, suffered brokenness, and yes, even have been crushed. A friend of mine early last year said as she prayed for me (and my spouse) Holy Spirit gave her the song “New Wine” by Hillsong. As I meditated on this song I realized how it mirrored my life to the degree that in order for wine to be made, grapes have to be crushed. Get where I’m going…is there anyone who wants to be a new wine for Christ?

““But forget all that— it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” Isaiah‬ ‭43:18-19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

After all that though, I want us to be encouraged with the above passage. Abba is doing a new thing in our lives. He is creating rivers (plural) in our wastelands. He is making a pathway in our wildernesses. Hallelujah! There is about to be new wine all over for the people of Yah. For those who put their trust in Him, shall never be put to shame.

Until next time, I love you, I am praying for you.

Remember, His Promises are our Guarantee…🙌🏽


79 thoughts on “God of our weakness

  1. Deandra, this is beautiful!
    I have occasionally looked back through certain seasons in my life and wondered how in the world I got through all that, but while it was going on, I was taking one day at a time, one crisis at a time. (I’m glad we can’t see into the future, I’m not sure I could handle it!) You’re right, we HAVE to hang onto Jesus – what else would we be hanging onto?
    My compliments to your Makeover Artist. 😉 In the short time I have “known” you, you have been a blessing to me, Precious One. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Awwww, Anne. That’s so sweet of you! Thank you and might I say, it’s so lovely hearing from you.

      Major major major compliments to Abba our Makeover Artist for sure! Lord, You are awesome!!

      I’m glad we can’t see into it too, though many times I’ve confessed to wanting at least peaks but He knew that this heart couldn’t handle it.

      Liked by 4 people

  2. Deandra, I have no words to describe you and the timeliness of this writing today. This caught me weeping, it caught me in the very act of going through my own troubles… in the very act I say… the very act…

    I have to believe that God loves me soooo much and he knew that I would need this writing that He would have Dee cooking and preparing this message since last night..

    What ever is going on with you Dee count it as “paying the price” like the verse/ mentioned above.this perspective is real Holy and this writing has Holy written into the core and tone and everything coming out from it.. PRAISE GOD FOR YOU AND HALLELUJAH TO HOLY SPIRT AND HIS ATTENTION TO IS ALL.
    My dearest love,…❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Father, I lift my sister to You this afternoon and thank You for using Your message to minister to her brokenness. I thank You for speaking to her in those deep places where words fail her and only You spirit can console her. I thank You for making Yourself known to her, for making her aware of Your presence. I thank You for showing her how much You really do love her and for revealing to her that You do have a plan for all the heartaches, the setbacks, the disappointments, the drudgery, the betrayals, the obstacles that she has had to walk through. I pray Lord that You would illuminate her path. I pray that You would replace her joy, with Yours. I pray that You would break forth in her life during what appears to be midnight. Shine down on her King Eternal. Make her to hear Your voice of gladness. Make her to hear Your tender whispers. Hold her close. Draw her near. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

      Liked by 5 people

      1. Dearest Dee as I wept, I asked God for someone to pray for me. I am rising out of my weeping. Thank you for the depth of your prayers. Thank you for seeking Him for the depth I needed to hear. Holy Spirit has delivered one again. Praise His Holy Wonderful Name. King Eternal has Shone upon me Dee. I will hear His voice of gladness, I will hear His whispers Thus says the Spirit of The Living God, I will HEAR!!
        Dee He drew me near, Dee He held me close… that prayer was perfect. God bless you lovely.. May Glory fall upon you…

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Your faith in God through your trials is an inspiration. You keep looking for the Light through the darkness. God is shaping you for the purposes He has for you. You’re strength helps those around you. I’m continuing to pray for you and your family little sister! Love you too! ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Deandra, thank you for sharing this heartfelt post. Interestingly enough I was just speaking to one of my employees today whose schizophrenic and through our conversation she shared with me how she was adopted. It was an interesting conversation. How we even met, it’s a blessing in itself. She’s that one person at work where we talk about the Lord.

    Reading your post reminded me of a few things she shared with me. For me, there’s no alternative with God. He is the one I go to even in my tears. Thank God for reflection of how far He has brought us through. May God continue to give us strength and may we continue to fix our eyes on Him 🙏🏿🕊😊

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Amen and Amen my sister! There’s no One Else!

      Thank you for sharing a glimpse of your story, Karen. I’m so thankful the Lord has allowed you someone with whom you can share His name with, especially at work, this is a tremendous blessing.

      May we never gaze at anything or anyone else. May we through Him our eyes transfixed at His face.

      My love to you, sweet sister 🙏🏽🤗❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Thank you for sharing this honest and beautiful post. Your faith and perseverance through it all is so encouraging. As I was reading I was reminded of how I look back at times that were difficult and realise that I could never have gone through it without Jesus. In our weakness His power shines through.
    You are such an encouragement and blessing to me 😊. May the Lord strengthen you and bless you.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Awwww, thank you Manu.
      I’m grateful that you too know what it is like to be carried by our Daddy. Truly, only in our weakness does His power shine through.
      You too are a blessing to me. I’m truly grateful the Lord has given you to me, across the oceans and continents 🤗.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Praise God for the amazing people He brings into our lives. Your words always touch my heart exactly when I need them my dear sister. Thanks much for sharing.

    The past year hasn’t been utterly painful, but it hasn’t been completely enjoyable either. But I am thankful for all the hardships I have endured, because they have helped to shape me and make me stronger today than I ever thought was possible.

    Thanks again my sister. May you be greatly blessed as you navigate your journey with the Lord. Love you always

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Praise the Lord indeed!! Thank you for your prayers.

      I’m so happy He was able to touch your heart through mine.
      Hang in there Fay Ann! Do. Not. Let. Go.

      I’m reminded of the verse that says, “weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”

      Love to you always ❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I appreciate your love. Thanks for your admonition encouraging me not to give up… Am really going through a rough phase and some days it’s harder than others but I keep reminding myself that the phone line to God’s heart is never busy and He waits longingly to hear the sound of my voice in prayer. With that assurance I continue to talk to Him, call to Him and cry to Him. I know he is is always ready to listen

        Liked by 1 person

        1. He is always ready and always waiting. I pray as you go through, He will send you a surplus of endurance, peace, faith and joy with each trial that is faced. Greater is He inside of Fay Ann, than He in the world.


  7. Beautiful Post my sweet fellow Scribbler. It’s not easy is it? It can be down right hard, but we look forward with hope, and cling to the Joy of His faithfulness and privisionsions in those rocky places. One of my husbands favorite songs is the one below: Hard Love, by Needtobreathe. It truly is a hard love. But God disciplines the ones He loves. So we can rest assured that he is faithful in all of our afflictions. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Tina, my scribbler counterpart, you should sign up to be a DJ! You always choose the right songs. Girl!!

      Oh yes, yessssss, yesssss, we cling on for dear life to the Rock of Ages. He is our hope, our shelter, our joy, our all.

      My love to you ❤️🤗

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Hallelujah! It’s so nice knowing Jesus is with us 🙌🏽
      I certainly appreciate the prayers. Today, I prayed earnestly for you. I almost included in my post that all readers unite in lifting you before Abba 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  8. So young…so much wisdom…so much faith…so much compassion for your fellow man to take the time to share in such a revealing way. May God continue to give you the gift of expression, Precious One. Had your time on earth been during the age of Moses, Ezra, or Luke, I’m positive they would have hired you as secretary. I love your style. Keep those posts coming.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh wow! You are one of several people who have called me a secretary or scribe. One Bishop I served as a secretary called me Ezra. God is absolutely amazing!

      Thank you for continually praying Mother Fowler. I appreciate them all 🤗❤️🙌🏽


      1. C S Lewis said, “I never exactly made a book. It’s rather like taking dictation. I was given things to say.” I often feel that Holy Spirit directs my attention and shows me how God is glorified or revealed through something. I start writing and none of it is any good until he’s done with the editing. By the end, I know that I was just the scribe. The best part of my own 2019 was that it was over, too! Where else would we go, indeed! You’re such a blessing to others. Your heart’s at least as big as your beautiful smile; and your faith is growing like a tree by a stream of constantly flowing water and doesn’t need the occasional rain to keep it alive. You, Dee, are so loved! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Awesome! Simply awesome! It warms my heart and increases my gratitude to see one of my sisters sink deeper into Abba’s grace. Spiritual growth and wisdom never happen in the vacuum (and safety) of pretty church buildings. They happen in the trenches of life, with all it’s ups and downs. The trust that develops in Abba is what makes us reflections of His light in a dark world. Our prayers are with you and so grateful for sharing this with us!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. You have left me with such wonderful food for thought. As I read it this morning I had to let it marinate into the depths of my soul – “the trenches of life”, now that is a beautiful analogy. I know it comes from a place where you have walked and even swum through some storms.

      Thank you for coming by and pouring in.

      My love to you and Margaret always 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  10. John 6:68 is one of my favorite passages. ” “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life.” Acknowledging we have nowhere else to go isn’t a time to throw up our hands because we have run out of option, but it proves that we are “sold out” to Jesus! God knows that about you! Praise the Lord for all He has done in your life!

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Love this posture…..

    “It is not me who chose to follow Christ of my own volition. It was His beckoning to me. It was He who constantly revealed Himself. It was He who patiently pursued me. It was His deposit of Holy Spirit that has and continues to draw me to Himself.”

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Deandra,

    I’ve been there too. 2018 was one of the darkest years of my life. I still don’t think I have recovered emotionally. Through it all the Lord has been faithful. My newfound weaknesses have continued, and I am still struggling with being the one who needs help, when I’m used to providing it to others.

    I get the feeling the Lord is preparing me for something or maybe it’s just maturity.

    Hearing your story is strangely comforting. I guess it’s the comfort others with the comfort with which we’ve been comforted.

    Anyway, thanks for sharing. I good to hear from those who are writing about the depth of the complexity of our lives. Blessings.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Dear brother,
      Isn’t is wonderful that in spite of all the hurdles and obstacles, we can see His hands of faithfulness. We can even feel His heart or comfort pouring into the deepest parts of our wounds and sorrows.

      Just this morning as I drove home from taking my son to a Quad at school I was asking the Lord why I needed to suffer so much, and why I was placed in a home to serve three different generations. The answer didn’t come, but as I write this I recall a scripture I would frequently recite, “That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death” (Philippians 3:10). It is I’m suffering that I have come to know Him deeper. It is in affliction that I have come to know and appreciate His laws (Psalms 119:71). It is in sorrow that I received His comfort, which He in turn have used, to comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

      As our lives are poured out before Him as drink offerings, may we continue to surrender and say, “Have thine own way, Lord.”

      His abundant peace be within your loins always. 🙏🏽

      Liked by 2 people

    2. I understand struggling with dependence. I’ve been going through that for a few years and 2019 has been the hardest. My Abba keeps telling me, “not there, but here.” And “not him/her, but me.” I have always wondered what it looked like for His strength to be in my weakness. Guess I’m getting a crash course! 😉 Hold onto your Father and “be still”.

      Liked by 2 people

  13. Thank you so much for this. I have been so blessed by it. I’m so glad that our God is innovative. He is always tearing down the old in our lives and creating something new. I’m grateful for the new thing He is doing in your life.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. My heart is so FULL after reading this post! There’s so much peace, hope, faith and strength conveyed in this message! What a friend we have in Jesus!
    The crushing and the bruising of those grapes is a grueling process. A little like walking through fire!!! We don’t want to walk through that refining fire, but we must, if we are to see His image in ourselves afterwards. He is doing a new work? Can we but see it?

    Love you friend! Thank you for sharing the things you have learned. God Bless you girl! You are strong! 🙌🏼💯

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh Renee, it is His strength in me. Your friend is but a wimp lol.

      I’m so glad He was able to speak with you, and me. That fire….girl, that fire is hard, hot, sweaty, gooey, and the words can continue but the delight we have after going through His purification, awesome.

      I love love love you ❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  15. Your post brought tears to my eyes and the prayer that you wrote for peacemaker23. I love that your adopted mom was able to encourage you and your family were with you through all the process.

    Through it all you have grown in faith and patience. May this year be the year of release from all the problems of the last years. May it be a year of fullness in God. May it be a year of complete blessings in your life. May it be a year of enlighten vision in the wisdom and revelation of God. In Jesus name. Amen. Your post was a blessing to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amen and Amen! I receive with a heart full of gratitude your prayer for me, Beverly. It has come at a wonderful time this morning. Thank You Jesus!!

      I’m thankful the post blessed you, dear friend. Many times we go through so so so much not realizing that the Lord will use it for His glory and the comfort of others if only we would step aside and let others see our scars.

      I am thankful too for my adopted mom. She has been a great source of strength and support throughout my life. I remember when my son entered teenage phase and begun driving me nuts. She would say, “Dee, it’s just a phase.” That held such hope for me.

      Beverly, the trials you are enduring even now are just a small part of what God is working and doing in and around you. The night you see, is just a reflection of the backside of the mountain in front of you. The sun is on the other side. Keep pressing. Keep walking.

      My love always to you. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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