This has got to be one of the most difficult posts for me to share, especially since it requires from me vulnerability while still dealing with emotional unease.
For the past few weeks and even months at least, I have been dealing with feeling rejected and neglected. I have faced challenges and shifts in various relationships that have left me feeling as though I’m not wanted or needed. For someone whose love language is giving of her time and talents, this new path has left me questioning my worth – a whole lot.
As I do every time I face these emotional hurdles, I take to journaling for only the Maker of the heart is able to bring peace and mending to the heart that feels broken and rejected.
As I repeatedly find myself on my knees in tears before Abba, He has been reminding me that my value nor worth is not based on others needing me and neither is it based on what I can offer to those around. You see, one of my spiritual gifts is helps and somehow, I’ve allowed my identity to be tacked to doing deeds or being there for others, instead of simply being defined by who my Master has said that I am.
Being robbed of what I feel I’m good at has left me feeling incapacitated. I have a feeling of worthlessness that screams in my ear that I’m no longer wanted and so I’m unimportant. I understand that these feelings are lies from the enemy, but have you ever felt like the lies around were choking out reason. Yes, we are armored with the truth, but be honest with me, do we walk in His truth 24/7 the way we need to?
As Holy Spirit dealt with my heart (that is oh so deceitful), He began to remind me that my value and worth is based on the fact that I’m made in the image of Abba. Period. Though I’m 50% Norman and 50% Myreta (my biological parents), I’m 100% made in the image of the One who formed me in my mama’s womb and who knew my name before the world even was called into existence.
Holy Spirit, our Teacher brought to my attention a forest of trees one day as I drove on the highway. He asked me whether a beautiful tree in the middle of the forest would have ceased to be beautiful because it was not being observed by passerby’s or recognized by fellow trees that surrounded it.
You guessed it, the answer is no. The tree would still be beautiful and would still hold its value irregardless of who saw it or who identified that it was a beauty to behold.
So are you and I, friends.
Our beauty is not based on external factors. Our worth is not based on the affirmations of those around. Our value is not based on anything we have acquired or hope to achieve. Our merit is not based on what we can do for those around or how we are able to do it. Our lives are no less important because of our ability or how we compare with those around. Let me say this – comparison is a death trap.
For mamma’s who have to let your babies go (for whatever reason); For wives who have to deal with spouses who are negligent; For husbands who have to deal with wives who are unappreciative; For folks who feel like they are merely scaffoldings to their friends; For children who feel overlooked by their parents; For all of us who at some point feel isolated and rejected; who feel from time to time neglected and overlooked; hear me and hear me well.
We have worth because He who is Worthy lives inside of us. We have worth because He whose name is Worthy formed us in His image. We have value because the Lord’s treasure is hidden inside of us. We are beautiful because we are fearfully and wonderfully made.
So, through whatever storm you may face, remember we serve a God who is with us. We serve a God who’s not phased by anything.
I continue to ask for your prayers and encouragement during this season of surrender and leave us with the following verse:
“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, And saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:8