Grumbly and Complainy

“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips“. Psalm 141:3,NIV

My son for the past few years has been actively participating in wrestling with his school. This upcoming school year, he is super excited that he has qualified to wrestle as a varsity athlete.

To become the best he can be in this regard (as well as in an attempt to qualify for scholarship for his college years), he has done his research and has decided that he wants to participate in a wrestling club. Three times a week for about 2 hours he practices with other wrestlers from diverse walks of life with varying experiences.

I am extremely thankful that he’s taken this initiative and am grateful for the discipline this sport is building in him.

However friends…

While this mom is happy to support her son‘s endeavors, the toll I feel it taking on me is starting to make me grumble internally and I fear pretty soon, the grumbling might turn external.

I don’t want to be “grumbly and complainy“. I want to be super supportive of his decision and be a good cheerleader.

Of myself, this isn’t possible. I leave work after a 8-9 hour shift, drive 30 mins via the highway to drop him off and wait for his practice to end 2-3 hours later and then endure another 30 minute commute home. Did I mention too that there is a monthly fee involved?

Looking at all the above, I have begun feeling like a whiner.

Ugh!

Yahweh does not care for grumblers (see Numbers 11). The Bible is filled with countless reminders to be thankful.

So, having known my grumbly tendencies and praise God for being (this time) sensitive to Holy Spirit, I’ve been silently prodded to quit my murmuring and begin dialoguing with Abba.

As I began pouring out my heart with God, I was reminded of the above verse. “Set a watch on my lips Lord, keep the door of my lips.”

By allowing God to keep my heart (and mouthpiece) checked, I believe that in time my inner man will be in tune to selfless service to my boy and my attitude and actions will soon follow.

I think of how awful I would feel if someone grumbled every time they had to assist me. I would be disappointed to feel that my mom was not willing to support my dream.

Take it further, can you imagine how we would feel if God complained each time He had to wake us up.

“Wake up Deandra one more time? Seriously??”

“Answer another of her prayers – when will this end?”

I would not be a happy camper if Daddy whined and murmured each time I ran to Him.

So…I’m committing my thoughts, actions, motives, attitudes, words and everything in between to God. I want to serve my son as unto God. I want to use our travel times together to show him Jesus while listening to his heart. I want to enjoy the last of his teen years because all too soon, he will have moved out and gone away. I want to be open to what God is doing in our lives. I want to use the “free” time to catch up on a book, a friend, a blog or two, some journaling, some well needed “soaking time” and who knows what else God can have His child do…

Bottom line friends, it comes down to perspective.

“Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased patience, or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction and confidence as we strive to achieve worthy goals.” David A. Bednar

Father,

Here I raise my Ebenezer seeking Your for Thy great help. I trust, that by Thy good pleasure, to be a faithful servant and steward to all. I pray Lord, that You would daily remind me that I was created to serve You, and that honor comes through many ways. I pray Lord not to become prideful, not to be unkind, not to be boastful or conceited. Lord, teach me to be kind, supportive and grateful for Your blessings. Loving others is a chance I get to show Your love to and through me. May I be willing, may I be attentive. May I be a blessing, as You have been unto me.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.