The Victim Mentality

img_0150I heard a message yesterday by Kyle Idleman from his series entitled “Don’t Quit” that has left me really placing myself under the microscope.

He shared that a person who has a “Victim Mentality” can never be a victor. Exact words (I think 🤔 were)…

“As long as you decide to see yourself as a victim, you will never see victory.”

Can you say “Ouch!”

He went on to share that there are certain signs that are evident in an individual who has this mentality. 

  1. They are ALWAYS pessimistic
  2. They are EASILY defensive when someone makes a suggestion for them to cheer up and look on the bright side.

(Still have any toes left?)

Rabbit trail: As I look over my Christian life (notice I described the life), I realize that I have fallen into one or all of these class a zillion times.

Aren’t Christians supposed to be hopeful? Aren’t we to always be positive? Are we allowed to have down days and whine and grumble maybe a time or two?

Someone feel free to answer these for me – include scripture too.

Back to the message by Kyle.

The Bible calls us conquerors through Christ. A conqueror is an individual who has gone through a test or trial and come out victorious. The same can be said about an overcomer. There was a struggle of some sort and the individual did not roll over and play dead, they got up and rumbled.

Many times, we forget that we aren’t in our challenges alone. I think this is what causes us to worry and lose perspective, which now I remember, is another point Kyle shared.

Folks with victim mentality have lost all perspective and all they see is a fog. He shared the story of Florence May Chadwick who was the first woman to swim across the English Channel in both directions.

In 1952, young Florence Chadwick stepped into the waters of the Pacific Ocean off Catalina Island, determined to swim to the shore of mainland California. She’d already been the first woman to swim the English Channel both ways. The weather was foggy and chilly; she could hardly see the boats accompanying her. Still, she swam for fifteen hours. When she begged to be taken out of the water along the way, her mother, in a boat alongside, told her she was close and that she could make it. Finally, physically and emotionally exhausted, she stopped swimming and was pulled out. It wasn’t until she was on the boat that she discovered the shore was less than half a mile away.

At a news conference the next day she said, “All I could see was the fog.…I think if I could have seen the shore, I would have made it.”

When I heard this story I was like “oh my gosh – less than half a mile away!”

Aren’t we like Florence though? When we are facing a fog we end up stopping our journey and throwing in the towel. Hear me out, I’m not discrediting her accomplishment, that was a big deal but when you look at the overall picture, she was unable to complete her task because of being unable to see.

We won’t always see what is ahead, especially when we are surrounded by a fog BUT here’s the kicker, we DON’T need to see ahead. We simply need to trust that our Lord has seen ahead, is ahead and yes, even right beside us too.

I challenge us today, to throw off the pessimistic cloak and put on the robe of optimism or better yet, the robe of Truth which is the Word of God.

We can trust Abba has our best interest at heart – always.

Even when the world feels like it’s falling apart, we can trust that God has everything in the palm of His big hands.

When our heart feels like it’s been broken into a million pieces, we can trust that God is able to put them all back together (after all, He made the heart).

When the money in our accounts are drying up, we can recall how the widow ended up with oil that never ran out until the famine ended.

When our children are acting crazy, we can be confident that God is able to redeem them (He did so with us).

When the sickness in our body rocks us to the core, we can lean on Jehovah Rapha, our healer and look towards that day when our body will change from mortal to immortality.

When death always seem to be knocking at our doors, we can know that it had to get permission from our gatekeeper, Jesus Christ.

We never have to stop trusting just because there is a fog. We simply need to be still, and see the salvation of God.

We never have to see what He has up His sleeves for us, we only need remember His promise that He has great plans for us.

I could go on and on about trusting Jesus but I’m sure you’ve got the point (at least I hope you have).

Discard that victim mentality my friend. Greater is He living in you than that issue you are facing.

I know it feels hard. I know it hurts. I understand that the weight is heavy and quitting seems like the best course of action, but trust. Trust in the One who always has your back.

Father, we confess that we don’t always trust You. Though You show Yourself Mighty time and time again, we doubt Your goodness. Many times, we even doubt Your ability to deliver. We repent Father. We repent for boxing You in and equating You with our feeble selves. We ask Your forgiveness Lord and request that You would fill us with Your hope. Fill us with Your joy so we can be strengthened. Help us Father to keep our eyes on You knowing that Your plans for us are good. Remind us of the many hurdles You have brought not only us through but also those who faithfully serve You. We confess Father that we are weak and so even now Lord, we seek Your face and Your grace which we know is sufficient. We thank You Father for Your unfailing mercies, Your tender compassion, Your eternal love. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.


21 thoughts on “The Victim Mentality

  1. I’m in a phase of life right now where I am definitely learning to trust God even though I cannot see what is ahead. It makes me nervous yet I’m excited to see how He will work things out for me.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Yes definitely! It’s not always fun having to learn to trust God but it’s worth it. As I see His faithfulness it does build me up spiritually. I grow closer to Him and understand more about how He works.


  2. “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
    ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

    Good Word! Good lessons for today and Good Word for those needing and panting for a closer walk with YahWeh (God).
    Blessings to you Deandra, keep panting after the “Water-brook”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. This is a great one Deandra. Oh, you nailed it.

    “All I could see was the fog”. And then, not “I could have”, but “I WOULD have” made it if I saw the shore.

    It was said recently from our church pulpit that there is nothing that disturbs & rattles satan’s cage more than when a child of God has endured an onslaught under his orchestration all week, to enter the house of the Lord, only to press through “the fog”, raise their hands & worship ANYWAY! It disturbs him beyond measure.

    Why? Because we have God’s grace and mercy at our disposal & he doesn’t.

    Press on. Blessings!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Oh David, I love love love that reminder – oh if we could keep our eyes focused on what truly matters to let the enemy know he cannot and will not be victorious over us! Thank You for these timely reminders 🙏🏽
    Onward Christian Solider…


      1. Oh my goodness! You have to read another one of hers, called Power of Speaking Positive. Her daughter-in-law, Kim Haney, has one called, God Has a Waiting Room. These two ladies are filled with wonderful wisdom, and it shows and flows in the words in their books!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Rennnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeee… have me adding books to my “want to read” section lol. I looove it! Who told you my deep secret that I’m all about books? My mom calls me addicted 🙈

          Liked by 1 person

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